Sunday, January 06, 2008

I had a belief, now I have reasons to believe

I had a comfortable job, with a comfortable pay, which would have ensured me a life of materialistic comfort. But I was never happy. My life had become predictable. I kept searching for a more meaningful existence. An existence which my conscience would find justified. This soul searching exercise had started some time back when I was in college – but I was faced with limited options and insufficient guidance. I was drifting like an abandoned boat in the middle of an ocean, leaving it to the currents to shape my destiny. Without a mast, without a sailor, I wandered far and long searching and probing for something true. What was I looking for? Will I be ever satisfied with what I find? Will this drifting ever end? These questions were omnipresent no matter in which direction I looked. I was looking only for two things in my occupation – Satisfaction and a passion so great that it would generate in me that I should be ready to die for it. I always used to get great satisfaction out of helping people in need. But it had never struck me that I could make a career out of it. So I began asking myself questions - Who are the most in need? The poorest of the poor; and where do they live? In the villages of every country. Now I had a belief. I knew now, that I have to head north. I took control of the steer and began to row. And here I am. Without any background, without any experience I chose to study Rural Management. I was only motivated by a belief that the poor people of every country deserved a better life and that I should be there playing the role of a change-maker. It was in fact a very naïve belief without any prior proof or reason – but it was a belief which I strongly held onto.
Now, after spending considerable amount of time in the villages, I have reasons to believe. I have learnt not to give up hope, though at times hope may seem to be a positive connotation of self-deception. I have learnt to have faith in myself, because I have proved myself right in holding onto my beliefs. I have learnt to trust people because they instil faith in you to hold on to your beliefs.

Villages – the cradle of humanity

This was what I left with after the month long assignment. This is what remains with me today. This one statement keeps ringing in my head, giving me momentum – to inch closer to realising my dreams – the cradle of humanity lies in the villages of this world. But why you may ask? Like the water which is most pristine at the source of a river, humanity too, is most pristine in the villages. Untouched and unblemished, the people in the village, I believe are like the water at the source of a river. Emotions running pure – love, hatred, jealousy, innocence – they are the carriers of the building blocks of humanity. I have drifted from my true self. Why? Maybe because of the imperfections and dilution that is introduced to a person in the city life where day by day we seem to be becoming islands of selfishness. Driven by motives which lead us astray from the path of humanity, we lose sight gradually, and we lose our basic essence. Value systems change. Now I feel the urge to find my way back – back to where I belong, back to the source. I have realised the importance of preserving this and nurturing these qualities that make me a human being – be it good or bad. I have learnt that it is worth the effort.

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4 Comments:

Blogger vatsa said...

I never knew you had such strong feelings. You have put it together brilliantly. People like you can really make a difference. Awesome, keep up the good work !!!

1:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

u are gifted. never forget that.

4:18 AM  
Blogger sandhya said...

im impressed .keep it up.ull make a big difference in the world one day.

12:33 PM  
Anonymous Punita. said...

Whoa.... just.... whoa...
well, that was certainly insightful, to say the least!
It's good that you have a calling and it's even better that you replied to it... i guess, most of us would just ignore that little voice in our heads and throw in the towel.....
End of the day, happiness is all that matters... right?

8:48 AM  

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