Friday, March 10, 2006

One Billion Moles

Dear Associates,

The celebrations have begun! Our centers in India will soon be reveling in the Annual Day events that have been planned with variety and aplomb!

[Stewie interrupts]

Ha ha ha! Oh gosh that's funny! That's really funny! Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. You are the weakest link goodbye. You know, I've, I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Hmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, reference that outside the program before. Because that's what he says on the show right? Isn't it? You are the weakest link goodbye. And, and yet you've taken that and used it out of context to insult me in this everyday situation. God what a clever, smart boy you must be, to come up with a joke like that all by yourself. That's so fresh too. Any, any Titanic jokes you want to throw at me too as long as we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity. God you're so funny!

Oh...(looks at a shotgun)..i've never handled one of these before..Oh yes!!.....This is my rifle...This is my gun...This is for fighting..This is for fun.

Dishkao.

Silence.

Oops.

[/Stewie]

In order to recognize your efforts towards helping script this suck-excess, we have arranged for tokens of our gratitude to be presented to you.

[Stewie interrupts, again]

Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I'm expected to turn and turn until OOPS! big shock, a jack pops out and you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a little inside.

You Imbecile!!

[/Stewie]

Those of you who have been with us for the longest and were employed with us prior to the day when I pooped in my diapers will receive an

[Stewie interrupts, yet again]

An iPod!!...so you can listen to The Streaks while you gasp for air!!................Oh The Strokes, right.

Hmmm, enough! Damn you all!

Victory Shall be mine!!

Dishkao.

With best wishes.

[/Stewie]

2 Comments:

Blogger Arjun Venkatraman said...

Hello Boss!
Thouroughly enjoyed "One Billion Moles".
"This is my rifle, This is my gun, This is for fighting, This is for fun". Now that's a quote I haven't heard in a long long time.
Nice to find someone who appreciates the same stuff.

BTW, Divya mentioned that you were slightly tiffed at my bullshit-ting Gandhi. I've replied to your comment on her blog. Do check it out.
Post that, you may want to check out a book called "Bramhacharya, Gandhi and his women associates" by ine Girja Kumari.

It's a good aid to getting Gandhi off his pedestal. He is venerable yes, but not to the point of obsession. The concept of calling one guy "Father of the Nation" is reminiscent of "Fuhrer" perhaps?
Very Aryan in nature and not particularly palatable to me, per se. In any case I frequently tell my own dad that he's bullshitting, and that is usually the basis of phenomenal conversation of the deeply intellectual kind.
So, hang lose my man. Shall keep in touch
Cheers

8:44 PM  
Blogger baddimaga said...

Hello Arjun,

Glad that you like One Billion Moles!

I wasn't particularly bothered by your comments on gandhi-the individual, per se. Like i had mentioned before, i am no fan gandhi. What irked me more was your "So why bother with the poor weak masses, who exist to suck your life" (maybe i understood this out of context, just maybe you had meant something else). And gandhi was a person who did care, and i do respect people who care. So when i spoke of gandhi, i was speaking of people who do care, and who do give a damn about others. I did a bad job at articulating i see.

But come on boss! Fuhrer and Gandhi! I just cannot seem to draw parallels. Correct me if i am wrong, but, while Hitler said, "I demand the position of First Chairman with dictatorial authority", Gandhi never demanded to be called the Father of the nation...it was just another invention of the junta, like all the other Fathers in other fields. Nobody demands to be called a father! As such they have enough problems at home. Nevertheless, i shall check out that book which you had mentioned.

I would never say no to a conversation of the intellectual kind :-), i may appear a little frivolous at times, excusez moi!

3:19 AM  

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